This should really go in my Dear Howard blog, but since that one exists only in my mind at this point, I’m posting it here for its design-i-ness: Sharpies and lollipops for my fellow baristas in lovely pinks and reds. (I think it snowed just for this picture.)
Your last post has given me the freedom to start over again here, and to use it however the hell I want. (Well, that and the fact that I am probably down to zero followers… there’s a whole lot of freedom in that.)
Why did I leave the safe harbor of ebby.com and venture out into the murky waters of the Internet? I should have known that I would only find heartache and 50 million more reasons why I’m a looser. Here I had been doing so well, keeping my eyes on God (mostly – not counting when my eyes were scanning the horizon for my next dream house) and not getting caught up in the daily beating that surfing the Internet can sometimes feel like to me. No facebook, no blog hopping, no feeling like a schmuck as I compared my overwhelmed and depressed insides to other people’s hyper-productive and have-it-all-together outsides. And then, in a moment of weakness, forgetting my weakness, I went here and saw this. She makes me want to throw myself off a cliff. How do other women manage it?
I remember when I used to look forward to the summer as a time when I could finally catch up with friends and relax a little. Even up until last year I would catch myself saying to friends who wanted to get together “Well, maybe it will be easier to match up our schedules during summer.” Ha! Now I know better. Summer is insane and totally non-stop. It is daily trips to the community pool for swim lessons and carpooling lots of bigger kids to swim team. It is a never-ending cycle of applying sunscreen to children and showering off the chlorine. It is wet, soggy swim suits and towels hanging from every hook in the house. It is keeping track of snacks and water bottles and towels and goggles and making sure that everybody has what they need, and then being constantly vigilant that none of my children drown. It is trying to coordinate napping and feeding and nursing for young ones; play dates and sleep overs and movies and activities for older ones. This summer it is sanding the kitchen cabinets down to the wood, spackling holes, painting walls, re-grouting tile, repairing dormer windows, cutting back the prickly hedge that hasn’t been pruned since we moved in ten years ago and which was threatening to reach the roof line, and a hundred other little projects that have to be finished before we can put our house on the market. Mix in my addiction to ebby.com, my daily devotion to P90X, and a little freelance design on the side and the result is zero time for blogging or much of anything else.
But I love it. I love our hot summers and living at the pool, I love my little projects and dreaming of the perfect house, and damn it, by the end of the summer I’m posting pictures of my guns.
I could never keep a journal when I was young because whenever I took a break from writing, I always felt like I had to “catch up” on events whenever I went back to it, like the diary was going to be confused if I didn’t fill in all the intervening details between the last time I wrote and the present, only that could get rather tedious, especially when it had been months. I’m feeling a little bit like that now, but I have such limited time, I know it’s ridiculous to try to write a real blog entry. So here is what I did with the extra free time I got today on account of it being mother’s day. And just in time to make the deadline for getting them to the hostess for this text/wire swap…
I’m so pleased with how they turned out! Time consuming little buggers, though. I’ve actually been working on them in every spare moment I could find for the last two weeks. I just put the finishing touches on them today.
And here’s one special little guy that won’t ship out with the rest but who is going to a dear friend whom I’ve neglected terribly lately. I’m sorry I’ve been so absent and quiet… I do think about you every day.