a vision in pink

A long time ago, Georgia made a grand entrance into the living room, adorned from head to toe in her favorite color, and said something to the effect of “Look at me, Papa! I’m a vision in pink!” Needless to say, that phrase still gets a lot of play in our house.

I laid elle down on her beautiful pink star quilt today and Scout started playing with her: bringing her toys, putting plastic bowls on her head and making smoochy face. The light was so beautiful, I decided to get out the camera. The other girls were drawn like moths to a flame, and soon the four of them were laying on the floor, giggling and snuggling and making each other laugh.

febarch

febkiss

elzyyarmulka

feb4a

feb4b

febarmsinair

The love and playfulness on these faces? I needed to see that today. The weight of my failures as a parent have been crushing me lately, and I can’t seem to get out from underneath them (please don’t comment about this – any reassurances that I’m doing a good job will only set off the internal tallying of all the ways I’ve fucked up that you don’t know about). I know I need to lighten up. I know my girls love each other and are fiercely loyal (that is when they are not fiercely ripping each other’s heads off). I know that I need to let go of this ridiculous image of the “perfect” family that I’m holding my family up to as the standard. And I know I need to do a certain amount of letting go.

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~ by jenzai on February 1, 2009.

14 Responses to “a vision in pink”

  1. Your daughters are absolutely gorgeous! And what great pictures of them together on the pink quilt – to be treasured, I’m sure.

    Enjoy the rest of your day – K

    ps – don’t worry, no “reassurances” from me today – I, am feeling like quite the shitty parent myself for any and all particular reasons …

    pps – although – that still does count as a comment on what you said, doesn’t it? oops…;0)

  2. Do you know how hard it is not to rush in with the protestations and reassurances, with the “But I’ve watched you parent, and I see how fine the girls are!”? But. Not going to do it. Not going to tell you how you go beyond good enough and how part of being a good enough parent is always thinking your children should have it better, and that that letting go you “should” do goes against every fiber of maternal instinct. Not going to list the gifts these girls have gotten from you and their father, starting with, but of course not limited to, the humor, the sense of themselves, their sense of being able to express themselves, the thinking for themselves, the way that they do have each other, the meaning, the connection, the spiritual lives. Not going to tell you I wish I could build you a time machine so that you could glimpse them all beautiful and whole, happy and healthy twenty years from now. Nope. Not me. Nuh-uh. Because I hear you. I’ll just say “Check out the evident affection and clear enjoyment of each other they’re expressing! What a beautiful set of photos and how they make me miss you, and them, and thank you for sharing.”

  3. Well, Ms. O. already didn’t say everything I wasn’t going to say anyway. And yes, of course the girls are priceless but OMG come on people—there’s a QUILT being photographed here! Let’s get our priorities straight—

    Your littlest’s eyes are the purest blue.

  4. They are all so very lovely, and just the perfect image of family. Elle looks positively thrilled and enthralled with all her big sisters. They may be little devils sometimes, but they definitely had some angelic moments here.

  5. What lovely pictures. It was fun having so many ‘girls’ in our house of boys. Need more of that. Brings a whole different vibe.

  6. They’re so beautiful and happy, Jen. These are images to keep close to your heart.

  7. Sometimes it feels that our best isn’t good enough, so how much more it must feel when it isn’t our best.

    You have beautiful and what looks to me like happy children.

    Renee

  8. Your girls are super adorable. I love the last picture with all of them together.

  9. sooo sweet and you are so very honest….sending you a mom hug across the universe….you just need some flowers or chocolate covered cherries…or a super expensive, indulgent magazine….those always work for me…bliss

    that quilt is gorgeous….

  10. I can almost hear the giggles through the photos.

  11. let’s have another!

  12. Have you been smoking crack again?

  13. Thanks for coming by my blog! I tried to reply to your email, but it bounced.
    True Beauty is on ABC, so you should be able to watch
    it. It’s been on Monday nights, but it’s on Tuesday this week according to the ABC website. My DVR schedule disagrees, so I may have to set it up to record manually.

    Enjoy!

  14. i love these pictures!!! and as always, i appreciate your complete honesty!

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