I was a comment whore

stats1

The good news about that flat line you see there following the conclusion of OWOH? I can finally speak candidly about the event without worrying (too much) that I may inadvertently offend some of the more generous souls who participated in the event and who take it at face value. People who might not understand what a loon I am and love me in spite of it. See, I want to be the gracious blogger who, in her entry about who won her giveaway included excerpts from the more inspiring comments she received. ahem. The over 500 comments she received. Alas, I am not that blogger. No, I am the blogger who checked to see how many comments other people received and then calculated my self worth accordingly. I am the blogger who thinks mean and nasty thoughts about the people who copied and pasted their same insipid comment, typos and all, into the giveaway’s of the over 800 blogs that participated in the event. I am the blogger who intitially thrilled to see the hundred plus comments roll in on the first day I posted my entry, and then woke the next morning feeling almost hung-over and wondering who it was I had woken up next to. What was this event about exactly?

And what do I really want, anyway? To be cool? To have a big audience? I don’t really want either of those things. I like the private nature of this blog. I want validation, but funny thing is, when it comes? I dismiss it. The 200+ comments I received eventually meant very little to me because “they had to say something, right?” I mean, I saw the same kinds of glowing encomiums on the blogs where the giveaway was a crappy little bookmark. You see? Evil. I am evil. And ungracious. And I will probably be ex-communicated from the gypsy caravan and I won’t even be allowed to participate next year because shhh! somebody might find out that I didn’t actually include every single respondent’s name in my drawing, but only the names of the folks who said something of a personal nature or who actually took the time to read my post and respond to my question about compassion.

Because wasn’t that the purpose of the event? To meet cool people you wouldn’t meet otherwise and form a few new relationships? To find people and photos and words and art that inspire and feed your creativity? I feel lucky to have found a few such connections through OWOH. So to hell with stats, and to hell with seeking approval and to hell with wishing I was the sweet, gracious kind of blogger who didn’t notice the shallowness of all the canned comments. I’m not and I did.

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~ by jenzai on February 25, 2009.

20 Responses to “I was a comment whore”

  1. U R so cool and I just love your art!

    Oops, did I cut and paste that? One comment whore to another, yeah, quality over quantity is where it’s at. And also, if people fail to recognize how lovely your blog is. how thoughtful and honest you are with it, we don’t want ’em here clogging up the comment section anyway. Anyway — you learned from the experience, yes? and made at least one great connection? So, cool.

    Benadryling the kids tomorrow so we can talk, ‘k?

  2. is this the meeting of cw anonymous?
    i love that you posted this since it’s what lots of us are feeling. when i started my blog (three whole months and counting!) i didn’t know what to expect and hoped for a few appreciative (discriminating, smart, witty, funny) readers. owoh was an, ahem, interesting experience and i count you among the delights it brought me.

  3. Hi, my name is…Unnarrator, and I am a comment whore. (Though to be honest I’m really more of a comment anorexic. Or a comment epicure. I want those long weird thoughtful ones, but I only want two or three…the ones that make me go, “What did you just say?!”)

    Alors, IM not-so-H O, this rarified “sweet, gracious kind of blogger who didn’t notice the shallowness of all the canned comments”? must be the world’s most amazing blogger yet: a dairy cow! Or maybe a marmot. Because does sweet and gracious mean you don’t notice things? In which case WOW I don’t know ANYONE gracious! Come to think of it, there are some pretty highly observant marmots.

    My friend Steve’s daughter Anna is in her 30s; she speaks about 50 words, understands about 100, is in a wheelchair, will never be mentally older than a toddler. And Anna will narrow her eyes and glare in an internalized, trying-to-be-polite way, when she perceives that she’s being slighted in some way. I don’t need to tell YOU that kids can tell when you’re blowing hot air versus when you mean it.

    In short, your ancestors who couldn’t tell the difference between genuine praise and flattery, got gulled and gave away all their antelope meat and acorns to the hangers-on, who then wandered off cheerfully without returning any gifts. Then they starved. And then they WEREN’T YOUR ANCESTORS. Gospel according to Richard Dawkins.

    You demonstrated your graciousness by waiting until all the badly behaved party guests went away before you turned to your friends and said, laughing but with a slight hysterical edge, Oh GOD I am NEVER doing that AGAIN.

    And I don’t know WHY I’m being so shirty about all this, only I fancy myself some kind of ever-vigilant squasher of self-deprecation wherever I delude myself that I find it. On attaque!

    Can I have some Benadryl too, please?

  4. I had to laugh at all this. Although I admire folks who participate in these bloggy things (I mean the giveaways, tagging games, etc.) for their enthusiasm, I have to admit that since I started blogging my brains away I have become the opposite. What would that be? A comment nun? I do like getting feedback, but have noticed that a good deal of it comes through e-mail and not on the blog itself (many folks seem not to want to do anything that even looks like “registering” online). I finally got sitemeter for The Farm, just to see what traffic was like (to see, in fact, if anyone but my family was reading), but it’s only mildly interesting. The upshot of all this is that your blog is worth itself. How many comments you get isn’t important. Even folks who don’t comment get something from it–if only the enjoyment of your adorable pictures of your incredibly pretty children. Give me the occasional single thoughtful comment over tons of “love your blog, come see mine” stuff any day.

  5. Thank GOD I didn’t participate in OWOH this year! And when choosing my winner last year, I accidentally didn’t include those whose comments didn’t include an email or blog address. I mean, I’m going to track you down so I can give you a prize? As if!

  6. oh Unnarrator, you won’t let me get away with anything, will you? What are you, my CW sponsor?

    okay, so maybe I will always notice, but will I always care? Maybe that’s the quality I admire. I’m not sure. I just knew I had to get this out of my drafts folder before it became completely irrelevant. And maybe that’s the trick – to just keep breathing until the sting is gone.

  7. You have me laughing my head off. I stayed up nights entering those contests. har har har.

    What a great post and thank you so much for the best laugh I’ve had in ages.

    xoxoxo

    Renee

  8. yoiur post=7 comments mine=0,

    but who’s counting

    comment whoreman? you bet’cha!

  9. Annnnd do I hear NINE? Anyone for NINE….

    I really don’t know now what possessed me to leave that long bolshy harangue. Maybe because I missed teaching my class on Monday and had all this leftover lecture as a result, like unused adrenaline, just hanging around my system turning sour.

    Turns out prednisone works better than Benadryl!

  10. Are you kidding? I love it when you guys keep me honest.

  11. I was most definitely a comment whore. But if I left a comment saying that I was having a look around a blog — I definitely had a look (not just at that posting). I bookmarked about 30 blogs to return to — and have gone back to them all!

  12. Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!

    ______________________________
    Seized Cars From $100, Boats, Real Estate, Collectibles And Jewelry. Government And Police Auctions Online

  13. Do you have a place to subscribe to your blog. Hope I didn’t just miss it…

  14. A place to subscribe? Really? Oh my goodness, that never even occurred to me. I don’t know if I could stand the pressure if there were people that subscribed to my blog. Oh my God, and what about the devastating rejection when people start unsubscribing? I don’t think I could handle it. ; )

  15. Comment whore! HAHAHAHAHAHA

    {just felt like leaving another one xoxo}

    PS how you like the Weetzie?

  16. So you’ve instituted a new policy, no new blog entries until a post reaches 120 comments, right? I tease gently, because I know you’re busy, and better, I get to see you in 72-ish hours, but also because I know what blogging-block can be like and I totally miss your voice.

  17. You get to SEE her? Oh, that’s right, Austin! Y’all say hi to TX for me.

    I’ve not done so great with staying off the Interwebs….but Ms. Jenzai, I thought you’d get a kick out of Wallace’s take on pulchritude:

    http://blog.oup.com/2008/11/writers-thesaurus/

  18. 200 comments. I got 200 comments on the post that shall not be named. : /)
    I didn’t realize it had been so long until Libby threatened to stage an intervention on my ass for not having blogged in, like, forever. Not having any sugar in my system has kind of thrown everything up in the air and I’m not sure where all the various elements I had been trying to juggle are going to land.

    It’s cool to know I’m not alone on pulchritude, though kind of dismaying since it points out how very little confidence I have in myself. Why didn’t I just say that the word sounds ugly? A tomentose Robin Williams made me chuckle, though!

  19. OWOH was crazy. Crazy. Thanks for the honesty. Hope the one or two connections it brought you are lovely and genuine.

  20. OWOH was very …pink. I’m a guy and I don’t do pink unless it’s a laundry mistake. After the first 50 comments came in I hid and made my wife deal with it. It was like Lucy and Ethel in the candy factory assembly line. You know me from my cut-and-pasted 894 times comment along the lines of: “Cool item. Give it to me.” And I’m still pissed I didn’t get your giveaway.

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